Imagine trying to get out of bed in the morning but an invisible weight prevents you doing so. The weight forces you to lie down and contemplate how you might first move this weight and then get up. After a while you manage both. You have 5 things to do before you leave the house and an hour in which to do them. Suddenly you forget how to complete any of these 5 tasks. Tasks you perform every day. But the how-to has just left you. 75 minutes later you are out the door. You drive your car without thinking where you are going. You drop No 1 son at school. You drive home. You calculate at what speed you need to hit the poles you pass in order to end this fog. There are no poisons in the house anymore and no medication containing paracetamol or sleep inducing drugs. You fight the incredibly strong urge to return to bed. Yet the bed seems so safe, so inviting. You give in and go to bed. You get up in time to collect No 1 son from school. You buy him something with added sugar from the bakery with your last $2. You drive home and lie down on the couch, wishing the next 3 hours would pass in a blur until J gets home. Imagine living with depression.
3 comments June 18, 2007
I bought No 1 Son a saxophone. It arrived via Australia Post on Wednesday. He didn’t know it was coming but I told him I was pretty sure the big box was his. He didn’t think it was a puppy inside because the box wasn’t wiggling and jiggling. I told him I didn’t think Aus Post delivered puppies. He thought it might have been a year’s supply of chocolate. His nickname is Added Sugar. He hoped it might be a new Nintendo DS as his is uite old now. A Nintendo DS is about 1/10 the size of a saxophone box. He hoped it wasn’t a saxophone. My heart sank. He opened the case and there it was. A shiny new brass saxophone. He left it in the case, wrapped in plastic. After school he unpacked the saxophone. I found the reeds and he started playing. He is only just 7 years old and has abandoned lessons at this stage. But the sound he can produce is music to my ears. When he sat on the rental sax and J had to fix it, No 1 Son was the only one of us to be able to get a note out of it. The idea behind buying him his own sax was that it can just be here. He can play it when he likes and when he matures a little more he may ask to go back to lessons.
Add a comment June 8, 2007
I was talking to the camellias I rescued from our local Bunnings. They are going to be planted this long weekend. I went to Bunnings again today and brought home the fifth camellia. I apologised to the plant for not taking it with me earlier. The camellia seemed to understand and was relieved that at last I had returned for it. The first four I bought have pale pink and white flowers. The fifth one has red flowers. This could be why I hesitated at first, but if you saw the state of the plants at Bunnings you would understand why so many are coming home with me. Here they get regular watering, chewed by the dog, dug up by the cat and loved a whole lot. I am getting excited about the garden finally taking shape. It has only been six years since we moved in but it has taken that long to work out the climate, the unfortunate orientation of the house and the melding of a Japanese/Beth Chatto style. We” have a party when it is newly planted and you are all invited.
Add a comment June 6, 2007
I swept the fallen red leaves, from the Claret Ash, off the driveway yesterday. J’s car is so heavy it slips down the slope if there are too many leaves. I put the beautiful leaves in a pile on my lawn and went to get the Big Hands to pick up the leaves and throw them on the garden bed. Me, being me, completely forgot what I was doing and did something else. 18 hours later I took the Big Hands and went to collect my leaves. They have gone. So have the leaves on the lawn. My neighbours have vacuumed them up. Yes, they vacuum their driveway, their front lawn, my front lawn and the road in front of their house. They do not recycle yet they steal my leaves. I am not happy.
1 comment June 5, 2007
My friends are moving interstate. Sydney has worn them out and they are leaving. Sydney can be like this. Some say it is a place of opportunity. Afterall, that’s why we moved here from Adelaide. Better prospects for No. 1 son. Opportunity is not always a good thing. Sweeney Todd comes to mind. How opportune that there was a pie shop near by. Adelaide is safe, predictable, has the best wine regions and the Australian Ballet drop in now and then. Sydney is unfriendly, judgemental and pays the mortgage. OK, not ALL of it is bad, but why do my friends have to move away. J copped a lot of flack from my friends when we announced we were moving to Sydney. I will try hard to be positive for my friends and I fully intend visiting them in their new place. It just won’t be the same.
1 comment April 3, 2007
I have had this thing here waiting for me to post regularly. If I didn’t spend so much time reading other blogs I could have written a novel by now. So, here we are. I still have two open packets of rice bubbles in the cupboard (see last post), a new digital camera (but the batteries are flat) and a new hobby (keeping a blog).
I can’t promise a good read every day, but if you wait for it to come out in paperback can I suggest you order the large print version (because the eyesight deteriorates with age and it will takes me an age to get this published).
The dogs and I got caught in a storm yesterday. It hailed on us. It hurt. J and N came to our rescue after negotiating the fallen tree that blocked off the street. We dried off, downed a nice glass of red wine and waited for the chainsaw-wielding volunteers to chop up the tree. I am off to get new batteries and then I can show you what I have been up to lately. Stay tuned.
Add a comment March 6, 2007
I often wondered if the Internet would replace magazines. I tend to google my way around looking for a particular knitting pattern or a recipe using a key ingredient I have in plentiful supply (rice bubbles at the moment). Having found the information I want, I print it. Now I have my paper copy. I put it in a plastic sleeve in a binder (I do so Jb, it just takes a while). Now I have a book. I thought this practice may dent my passion for purchasing magazines. It hasn’t. It has made me more aware of what I am printing though. I have just bought a knitting magazine I thought I had to have. On reading it, with a cup of tea, I noticed some of the patterns seemed familiar. Looking through my binder of patterns printed from websites, I see why. They are the same. So the internet is like advertising for magazines. It provides a look at what is inside the magazine, except the ads, and makes me want to buy the magazine. Now I have seen through this marketing ploy, will I stop buying magazines, or printing from the internet? Nothing will ever dampen my passion for books. No, not even running out of shelves. There is always room under the pillow for another book!
Add a comment October 26, 2006
Add a comment October 8, 2006
For two days runnning the dog has refused to go outside when we leave for school. So I take him with me because he will get in the car. Then we go to the park and then we come home and he goes from the car into the garage and stands at the door. Perhaps a stint outside I suggest. But no, he will only come inside and that is that. As the weather warms up I could quite happily live out under our pergola. Do you think the dog will bring me a cup of tea though.
Add a comment September 27, 2006